


Sensei

by deleerium



Series: Staggering to Life [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Gen, Masturbation, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-16
Updated: 2011-10-16
Packaged: 2017-10-24 16:34:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deleerium/pseuds/deleerium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto (not) managing the chaos of puberty while on his training trip with Jiraiya.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sensei

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot be the first person who's wondered how (clueless, innocent, did I mention clueless?) Naruto handles the chaos of puberty while on his training trip with the president of perverts. Unapologetic irreverence and utter crack, because I have so much love for the interaction between these two. Not as pervy as the rating implies.

The first time Naruto experiences anything even remotely related to a sexual act is while he is on his training trip with Jiraiya. This is not surprising, given Naruto has just turned thirteen and his body has become an unwelcome, alien force that does strange and traumatizing things without any warning. That and he’s been hanging around the pervert for nearly a year.

What's surprising about this particular occasion, is that Jiraiya participates. Kind of.

It’s not abnormal for a thirteen year old to get unexpected hard-ons. Naruto knows this very well, in fact. He’s woken up hard from dreams too vivid for him to forget and too specific for him to remember. It even happens during training, although those are easier to ignore. What’s disturbing about this hard-on is not that it happens while he’s awake and submerged in a hot spring, but that it happens while Jiraiya is sitting not three feet from him.

And despite Naruto’s best efforts to ignore it, hide it, or spontaneously invent a jutsu that will result in the hot spring actually swallowing him whole, Jiraiya notices. Of course he notices. Jiraiya is Jiraiya, after all.

“You want me to leave so you can take care of that?” Jiraiya asks, his leer all knowing.

“What?” Naruto flails. “What do you mean take care...gyah, JUST SHUT UP.” And then he tries to drown himself at the bottom of the hot spring.

Jiraiya picks him up out of the water by the ear, no longer smiling. “What do you mean, ‘what do you mean’?” Jiraiya asks, his frown far more disturbing than the leer Naruto was expecting.

“Ow,” Naruto says, rubbing at his ear as he hunches away, glaring at Jiraiya over a wet shoulder. “I mean it’ll take care of itself, stupid,” he grumbles, sinking down as far as the bench will allow, his cheeks pink as he stares at the water lapping against his chin. “It goes away eventually, just leave me alone.”

Jiraiya’s eyebrows go up. “It takes care of itself,” he repeats. His loud bark of laughter makes Naruto jump and glare at him again.

“Idiot,” says Jiraiya. This time he grabs Naruto by the neck and tosses him out of the water entirely.

Naruto yelps as he skids on his ass across the hard stones and comes up against a bamboo partition with a wet smack. His cheeks flame from pink to red when his ‘problem’ gets noticeably larger. He whimpers at the strange sensation and slaps both hands over his crotch, only that doesn't help at all, so he slams his eyes shut and curls into a ball.

Jiraiya climbs out of the water with a sigh and walks over to stand above his contorted student. He scratches the back of his head. “A year with me,” he mutters, his tone disbelieving, “and you still haven’t picked up even this much?” He rubs a hand over his face then crouches down in front of Naruto. “Naruto,” he says.

Naruto opens his eyes and looks up because Jiraiya is using his ‘your life may depend on what I’m about to say’ voice. But there is way more to see than he wants to see and he squawks and squeezes his eyes shut again. “Gyah, what are you DOING?”

Jiraiya looks confused before he realizes his position has left him somewhat…exposed. He smacks Naruto on the head.

“Ow,” Naruto says, his gaze fierce with unfairness.

“Shut up and listen,” Jiraiya says.

Naruto pouts but keeps his gaze on Jiraiya’s face.

“That,” Jiraiya says, pointing to where Naruto’s hands are still cupped protectively over his crotch, “is perfectly normal, especially at your age.” His voice gentles considerably. “And it's not healthy for you to always ‘let it go away on its own’, as you put it, especially while you’re in training.”

Naruto’s blush grows exponentially and his shoulders hunch as he turns his head away, but the pout is gone. He glances at Jiraiya’s face out of the corner of his eye.

Jiraiya nods. “Perfectly normal. So.” He slaps his hands on his knees and rises to his feet. “Last lesson of the day. You can’t leave here until you take care of that yourself.” He holds up a hand when Naruto makes the same face he had when Jiraiya pushed him over the cliff. “That’s an order. Now, there are lots of options, but seeing as how difficult it is to get most things through that thick skull of yours, you should probably start simple.” He clears his throat and looks away. “Use your hand. It helps if you get it wet with something.” He clears his throat again and hitches up his bath towel as he moves out of sight around the partition. “I’ll be in the shower.”

Naruto stares at his retreating back, his expression fluctuating between outrage and shock. He makes a few inarticulate sounds before he closes his mouth and hunches down. He sniffs and uncurls his body. It takes another good minute before he looks between his legs. He slaps one hand over his eyes and reaches down with the other.

+

Jiraiya leans against the bamboo partition and rubs absently at one temple. “You’ll never get good at it if you don’t watch what you’re doing.” There is an inarticulate squeal of outrage from the other side and Jiraiya grins.

“You’re still there?” Naruto hollers.

“And still your sensei, last time I checked,” says Jiraiya. “Keep your voice down. I know our bath is private, but there are other guests.”

“I don’t need help, you pervert,” Naruto hisses. “Go away.”

Jiraiya grunts and stays where he is.

Naruto mutters something indecipherable and then there is silence.

Jiraiya’s eyebrows go up when there is a quiet huff of impatience from the other side of the screen. He smirks at the second. When Naruto makes a thoroughly annoyed (and slightly confused) sound, Jiraiya rolls his eyes. “Try using your entire hand. Like holding a kunai.” He keeps the ‘moron’ to himself. Mostly.

The only response from the other side of the screen is a quiet, surprised little sound of pleasure.

Jiraiya nods and starts carefully examining his fingernails.

Yet another confused and frustrated noise boils over the fence.

Jiraiya facepalms. “Try moving,” he growls.

The bamboo divider shakes violently between them.

Jiraiya whips around to glare at the partition. “I meant your HAND, idiot.”

Another string of muttered grumbles is followed by silence. And then a much lower, naughtier sort of sound spills over the divider. There is the soft schlick of flesh on flesh, a quiet, wet sort of sound (as if something is being well-licked) and the next moan is accompanied by a quiet thump as the bamboo divider rattles again, albeit gently.

Jiraiya’s cheeks are flushed as he turns around again and murmurs, “Well, he got that quicker than the Rassengan, at least.” He sniffs as he adjusts himself under his towel and walks away. He really is too old for his body to suddenly become an alien force that does strange and frankly traumatizing things without any warning.

Of course, that's not going to stop him from adding the scene to his next book.

+++

Much later, Jiraiya comes back to the bath already fed, dressed in yukata and hoping his young protege hasn't drowned himself in the hot spring (or sprained something important). He rounds the bamboo divider and his eyes get very wide.

Naruto looks – there’s no other word for it, really – debauched. He’s sprawled on the edge of the hot spring, one leg dangling in the water while his fingers play idly with a pink nipple. Not one, but four towels are scattered in bundled heaps around the pool. He’s using the fifth as a pillow. Scattered among the towels are: one eviscerated bottle of travel conditioner, a mangled packet of lotion and something that looks like it used to be a bar of soap.

Jiraiya’s lips twitch. “Finish your homework, boy?”

“Mm,” Naruto says, and slowly rolls his head to look at Jiraiya.

Jiraiya snorts.

And in that dog after a rabbit way of his, Naruto’s expression clears and he sits up. “Does everybody do it like that? I mean, it makes sense if you’re a guy, but how do girls learn? Is there like a class or something?” He spreads his thighs a little, staring idly between them as he scratches his chin. “And does it still feel that good if someone else is doing it to you? Huh,” he pauses, then answers his own question. “I guess that’s why people have so much sex.” An unapologetic grin, followed quickly by Naruto’s oh so rare ‘thinking’ face. “Wouldn't that mean guys are better at it, ‘cause they have the same stuff? Heh.” His eyes glint and his grin actually qualifies as a moderate form of leer as he makes the seal for Kage Bunshin in front of his chest.

Jiraiya drop-kicks him across the hot spring.

When Naruto comes up spluttering, Jiraiya is standing on the edge of the pool with his arms crossed over his chest, shaking his head. Emphatically. “No. Just…no. No clones. Not until you’re at least sixteen.” He sighs when he sees Naruto’s expression. “Fine. Fifteen, but no sooner.”

Naruto’s pout doesn't instantly morph into a blinding smile, but the ‘woe is me’ effect is slightly lessened.

Jiraiya wonders if he still shouldn't seal Naruto's Kage Bunshin for the next ten years, at least. He shudders, just a little. Definitely NOT going in the book.

Maybe.


End file.
